Just trying to be a Small Flower in God’s Garden

by Sanju Pahalagamage, Sri Lanka (shared on Quora)

In this, I’m sharing about God Almighty, Jesus Christ, and Holy Spirit. These are things I learned from my own “tumble and fall, then rise again” walk with God.

You CAN NOT understand God, by your own wisdom, intellect, facts, knowledge, understanding, or experience. To know God, the first thing, He has to take away the heart of stone that every human being is born with. Then, He has to replace it with a heart of flesh. Both these steps are initiated by God.

Therefore, theological arguments, intellectual searching about God, and scientific explanations about God are a waste of time. You CANNOT give clever arguments and win a person to a relationship with Christ. God has to take that stony heart that refuses Him and give a heart of flesh that can receive His love. ANYONE can ask God “God I want to know You. Please take away this stony heart of mine and give me a soft heart of flesh. I want to know you. “He will honor that prayer.

If you are continually torn between choosing God or the world, if you waver between God and lusts of the flesh, you need a “steadfast soul” within you. Even that, God has to give you. You can’t have it by your own ability.

You can’t love God by your own ability, your own intellect, your own wisdom. You must ask Him, for a heart that will love Him. He will give you so.

A person can read the bible back to back, read ALL theological books, be a scholar on Theology, sacraments, customs, etc. But you will NEVER know God as a real Person, until you sit down, take time and talk with Him, and WAIT ON HIM. You CAN NEVER know Him for real until you sit down, take time and talk with Him, and WAIT ON HIM.

DO NOT read prayers from a page. DO NOT repeat the same things over and over again. DO NOT make this an official formal thing. Open your heart. Tell Him what’s on your mind. Talk with God naturally, the same way you talk to the favorite person you love… (Never mind love, I have been angry with Him, shouted at Him, found fault with Him, all the fireworks. He was NEVER angry with me. He understands the pain behind my anger. He can take it.) Keep talking with God. Problems happen only when you STOP TALKING TO HIM.

Write down everything you want for your life…your plans, dreams, desires, and needs…Now count them. How many are there? 10 plans? 20 plans? 100 plans? Well, God has GREAT plans for you. They are countless…Countless as the sand on the beach. You can’t imagine that much love.

Tell God all your wants and desires. He cares for each and every one of your struggles, needs wants. He is the Best Dad. But, give Him a chance to give His BEST for you. DO NOT give Him a “Things to Do” list. He is God, YHWH…He is our Beloved Father, not our servant to do as we want. Tell Him “I know you love me. Tell me, what do You want for my life? what are the plans You want? “He loves that openness.

God loves the brokenhearted. God loves the humble, broken “worm” like persons who are totally dependent on Him. He can’t do anything with the arrogant “vipers” like people who are full of pride, and selfishness and wants sign and miracles from God to show that He is real. Their hard heart prevents them from His love.

For each and every person, their own personal encounter with God is very unique. For example, Peter met Jesus in a whole new way after Jesus asked him “Do you love Me more than these” three times. Saul met Jesus on his way to kill Christians and became Paul. I met God in times when my life is full of storms. Everyone has their own experience. God is the same, His qualities don’t change, but our needs, personalities, and problems are different. Therefore, you can’t just read books by other Christians and materials by other people and meet God. Hey, they are nice…But you must talk with Him, wait on Him, read the bible personally and get your own encounter with God.

Where the burden of sin is huge, God’s grace is MASSIVE, STRONGER, DEEPER than all your worst sin. WHATEVER you do, you can’t shock God. You cannot surprise Him. Don’t run away and hide from Him. That’s the main reason you will not grow. No matter how terrible things may seem, His love for you is stronger. DON’T RUN FROM HIM. Even when you continue to do the same wrong over and over again, go to Him. Don’t give up. Tell Him that you are sorry. Then ask Him to give you a new heart and a spirit. As you do this, He will change you from within. Maybe He will do it instantly…Maybe He will do it overtime…But when you continue to hold His hand, He will give you victory in your battle.

When you pray and worship, stop mumbling words. Stop whispering. Open your mouth and speak firmly with conviction. Tell Jesus “ I Love you”. Repeat that phrase. Open your mouth and say “I Belong to Jesus Christ. My family belongs to Jesus Christ” Openly DECLARE your faith firmly. When you praise Him out loud, speak of His kindness, His faithfulness out loud, you are defeating the devil. Do it as often as you can.

We are in the middle of a HUGE War. This war is between God and the devil. Satan hates God. So, whatever God loves, he hates. God loves us, that’s why Satan hates us. Satan is not like the horned comic figure in cartoons. Let me explain this way…Just imagine a beautiful shining juicy looking red apple. Now you are looking closely at it. That beautiful skin is wriggling. Then you realize, it is full of maggots. That beautiful shiny juicy red apple is choke-full of living writhing wriggling maggots. That’s Satan, the Father of lies.

Depression, Suicide, those tormenting thoughts of unworthiness, feeling like you are being emotionally shredded, blinding headaches, draining out hopes, everything that says that “you are just not good enough for this and that, go and kill yourself” …That’s a demon. Go to a man of God who believes in the Holy Spirit and blood of Jesus, and get that person to put prayer oil on you and pray over you. Pray yourself too, repent, forgive where you haven’t forgiven others, and tell Jesus Christ to release you. Jesus will set you free.

Satan especially hates women. Ever thought about why women face so much of persecution?? Why women are raped, crushed, objectified, belittled, downtrodden, shaming and all the things that break our spirit? That’s Satan, our oldest enemy working through various human vessels. Why? Because, it’s the Seed of a woman – Jesus, that brought his downfall. So, he hates us with special hatred. But God’s grace and power are bigger. Therefore ladies, hold on to your Eternal Father’s hand. Cast down the lies of the devil and stand empowered in God and His Spirit. Ask Him to open your spiritual eyes to discern who is the devil and who is human.

Why does divorce happen… the root cause of divorce is the stony heart of humans… stony heart…that heart which refuses the Love of God, which refuses to forgive, and which refuses to turn from evil.

Satan hates family – husband and wife family. God gave one mighty blessing “go and multiply”. That blessing is effective when husband and wife are united. So, Satan is attacking all families, to stop multiplying His blessing. Also, when a husband and a wife stay united in God, they are incredibly powerful. They can change lives for Him. They beget Godly children who will be blessing in this darkened world. Satan is fighting tooth and nail to break up families and stop these blessings.

How to recognize demonic activity… The main thing, Refusing to acknowledge that Jesus Christ is the Savior. Maybe you have a feeling of repulsion when you think of church when you go near Holy Spirit-filled people of God, tummy pains like wanting to run to toilets, even loose motion. Also, headaches that can’t be cured by medicines, places where no matter what you do it becomes filthy, hopelessness, cutting yourself and all acts of self-harm, self-mutilation, recurrent nightmares, grief that won’t go away, no matter how much you earn, everything going down the drain, recurrent failures in relationships extraordinary fits of rage, cancers, tumors…etc..etc..etc. Ask God to reveal the real culprits behind these if you are facing these in your life.

Soul-crushing grief, despair, fury, indulging in sin, Bitterness, unforgiveness…these are the doorways for demons to enter your life. Talk to God, REPENT, and ask Him to renew your heart and soul. Tell out loudly, with your own voice, and tell firmly that you, your family, your loved ones, your workplace, your relationships, your everything, your nation, that YOU BELONG TO JESUS CHRIST ALONE. Jesus Christ has paid your debt of sin with His blood on the Cross. Say that you cover everything under His warm precious blood.

There are things that are under our control. Then, there are things beyond our control. Give them to Jesus. Go to a man of God who believes in the Holy Spirit and blood of Jesus, and get that person to put prayer oil on you and pray over you. Pray by yourself too, repent, forgive where you haven’t forgiven others, and tell Jesus Christ to release you. When God sets you free, you are free indeed.

Don’t rely on pastors etc. alone. That person of God has his own anointing and power of God. But there can be times when even men of God can’t recognize the symptoms and struggles that you face. They are human beings after all. So, you must sit down and talk to God, you must read the bible yourself, you must cling to God, and He is hungrily waiting to set you free.

You cannot understand the bible if you haven’t received the heart of flesh from God. Next time you read the bible, you must ask Holy Spirit to teach you and reveal truths. Pray to Holy Spirit that God will open your spiritual eyes and ears and mind. Now read the bible under His guidance.

Prayerfully, worshipfully ask Holy Spirit to reveal the deepness of what Jesus Christ did on the Cross. Focus on this topic alone for one whole year if you want. Ask Holy Spirit to reveal you His pain, to make it alive for you. Don’t watch movies on it. Don’t read books on this. With the bible and Holy Spirit, ask Holy Spirit to reveal the Truth about what Jesus did on the Cross. Then begin to thank Him as He begins to reveal one by one. Take your time on this. Dig deeper with Holy Spirit. This will transform your life.

You can’t survive this relationship with God, without the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. When you accept Jesus as your Savior, you will receive Holy Spirit. That’s God depositing His Spirit within you. Then you must pray for the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. First, ask God to give the hunger to receive that Baptism. Then ask God to fill you. You might receive this experience instantly, or like in my case…as I wait expectantly on Him, He does inner surgery within me, healing me, strengthening me, and making me grow. It’s a glorious experience.

Even Jesus, who was born of the Holy Spirit needed this. As He rose up from water baptism, Holy Spirit came down to Him as a dove. The timid fearful cowardly disciples of Jesus transformed into mighty men and women with the power of God, after the Baptism of the Holy Spirit on Pentecostal day. Think of it like this…God has already deposited His spirit within you. Baptism of Holy Spirit is the outpouring of Holy Spirit from His throne, into that deposit within us. You will never be the same again.

Gifts of Holy Spirit, Fruits of Holy Spirit will flourish in you. God will put the Spiritual Armor upon you by the power of the Holy Spirit. You will read the bible in joy. you will NEVER EVER feel lazy or bored in praying or in Church, you will LOVE worshiping Him, He will be so real to you, more than anyone else in the world, you will prosper and flourish, God will delight to do miracles, demons will be put to shame. You will lead a powerful life as a human being and a Christian.

DO NOT seek God with a heart full of challenges, just to see if He is real or not…He hates arrogance. Seek Him with a humble heart, and seek Him faithfully…Don’t give up on Him. He sometimes just waits to see if you are serious about seeking Him. Show that you are faithful.

When you take one step toward Him, He will take 100 steps toward you. That’s the loving Daddy God we have.

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